FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
