I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
