SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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