I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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