Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
