The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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