I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Is it penis luge time yet?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
