she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
