no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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