I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
