you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
