please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
