help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We have started to decorate penises.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
