Whod you bang
She is in my trunk
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize