I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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