just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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