i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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