never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
