I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
