he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
