if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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