just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
