the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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