Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
