good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
