Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
