The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
