I just threw up on my dentist
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
