btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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