Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
