out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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