Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
