how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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