i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
