somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
