She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
