I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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