thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
