JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
