I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
