I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
