I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize