how can u be prego again
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
