Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What a dumb baby whore.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
