nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
