babies were throwing up all over the place
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
