Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
