I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
