I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
