You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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