I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
